Week Nine: First Love

It's Saturday afternoon and we're attempting to do as little as possible with two small children around (One of the very first casualites of parenthood: the Lazy Saturday). Some of Ian's friends from work invite us on a picnic, and Ian asks Emily if she wants to go. She asks of Reed, one of the guys that work for Ian, is going to be there, and we realize she might have a little crush on him. Mostly I think she pretty much loves anyone right now that isn't either Ian or me. She spent the afternoon playing with Amanda, who is incredibly more patient and willing to pretend than I am. Thus we've begun the downward spiral toward uncoolness. So I've realized that although I'll always be Emily's mom, and we will always have a special relationship, I'll never be the center of the universe I was when she was small. This is a huge contrast to Will's development as he is just starting to fall in love with us (and espeically me).

After four years of clashing with Emily on everything from not getting what she calls "colorful cereal" to washing her hair, I had forgotten about baby love. I forgot about that unique way a baby looks at you, the way their entire body wiggles with joy when you talk to them, and how you live for the smiles that light up their entire face. And while there are so many more reasons to appreaciate Emily now - her fascination with other cultures and art, her love and compassion for others, and her desire to help - there is something that was lost between us from that first tantrum.

So, although Emily and I will never have that part of our relationship again, I really enjoy the person she's growing up to be. Yesterday we walked down to the park and library downtown and got Emily her first library card, and she picked out a book about Japan to borrow. She really is quite worldly, this kid. But it wasn't until we sat on the grass to read this book out loud in the city park and there was an elderly Asian man cooling himself off in the kids fountain that I became aware of how, um, the book seemed to overly simplify Japanese culture. Hmmm, so much for worldly I guess.

And then there is Will, who even as I'm typing this, flashes one of his whole-body smiles every time I look over at him. He seems to have fallen desperately in love with all of us, when he's in a good mood (which, is actually most of the time) he will coo and smile whenever one of us pays attention to him. Just last week after going to get ice cream with Ian, Emily came into the door and as soon as Will heard her voice he started smiling. This is great news for Emily, who has invested so much time into him, waiting for some kind of two-way interaction. It's weird to actually see their budding relationship, independent of us parents, and it makes me excited to see what kind of friends they'll become.

Of course the downside to Will's new love for everyone is that he wants to be around everyone all the time. But it's not always enough just to be around someone, he'd actually much rather be held by someone, thank you very much. That's all well and good most of the time, but lately it's been in the 90's and having someone else's sticky skin on mine is pretty much the last thing I want.

But for now, I'll enjoy the pure spotlight of Will's adoration, even as I peel his sweaty self from the crook of my arm. And I know I'll enjoy the kid he'll become someday, but there is nothing quite like being a baby's first love.