Screams in the Night

A very, very, long week brought some happy news, the birth of my friend Sara’s second baby, Parker Cameron. Mom and baby are doing great and I actually got to meet Parker today at the hospital, which was wonderful after having to miss her firstborn at the hospital when we lived in Pullman. Sara seemed so relaxed and comfortable, and I was reminded so, so much of our stay with Will at the hospital just over a year ago.

Am I nostalgic? Maybe just a little. It’s not that I want another newborn, just Will as a newborn again. And I’ll admit that this might be selective memory, but weren’t things easier when he was a newborn?

All I can say now is, he’s wonderful most of the time, really, and we still lie awake at night and marvel at how perfect he is and our hearts burst open with love for this little guy. But it’s like there’s this other baby that takes over in the evening. This other baby right now, is nearly intolerable. After working at, what I think, is a fairly stressful job I come home to a tired toddler that wants to do nothing but scream for hours. Not cry, scream. This high-pitched-only-dogs-can-hear-it scream while he arches his back. You can’t rock him, snuggle him, hold him, talk to him, nothing.

I started writing this a few nights ago, after about an hour of the screaming with no end in sight. But that night as I was losing it, Ian was miraculously able to keep it together even after spending the entire day with no adult contact and a screaming Will and we talked about what we can do other than be frustrated about the screaming. We decided that Will needs more of a routine, which I knew on some level, but had let slide over the last few months since we moved, and actually, to be honest, never really had with Will since he’s been so easy-going.

So, we’re going to try to establish a good evening and bedtime routine, which is probably even more important since I’m at work now.

But it’s not really fair what I said before about Will. The last few weeks have been crazy at work, we’ve been organizing our entry in a local parade, and I had to walk in the parade with the candidates from our district. Of course I dragged the whole family along, and Will was such, such a good sport. He was clearly unimpressed with the whole thing, but was okay to sit in his stroller while Ian pushed him amongst the crowd of people yelling and clapping and waving signs. But not a peep out of Will, despite the fact that the parade started right around when his nap should have been.

And then tonight, Will only screamed for about ten minutes before passing out and actually staying asleep through the evening.

But Emily! I should really talk about her because she actually carried the banner out in front of the entire group, with another little boy, and she’s only five. I was so proud of her, she did such an amazing job, and at least one of her classmates was on the sidelines and saw her walking, which is pretty big time in kindergarten, I think.

As a parent, it’s sometimes easy to get dragged down by things like arched backs and ear piercing screams, or five year olds sulking as they brush their teeth. But then, moments like today in the parade remind me that they’re not trying to drive me insane, they’re only small, and acting like normal small people. And they’re actually some pretty great people, small or not.