Screaming Part Two: The Tantrum

There was a time when I opened Microsoft Word, along with various other programs on this computer of mine purely for pleasure.  I’d troll through websites, read about Will’s development and even lurk on message boards.  Heck, I even played games on this thing.  Now?  This is the first time in weeks that I’ve even lugged my laptop out of my bag at home.  I mean, it’s much easier to drag it back to the car in the morning if it’s already put away.  But now I spend all day staring at this screen, frustrated at why I can’t upload an excel document onto our web page, even after I’ve converted it to a pdf.  I’ve learned to do things on a computer I never dreamed, (mail merge comes to mind).  So when I come home at the end of a long day, opening up my laptop isn’t exactly on my list of priorities.  

Then there’s also the little problem that Will won’t let me near my desk for two seconds without screaming at levels only dogs can hear.  Okay that’s an exaggeration, if only dogs could hear it, the screaming wouldn’t be intolerable.  

So although Will isn’t screaming as much at night, but he certainly makes up for it the rest of the day.  I feel like someone came and stole my sweet little baby and replaced him with a little screaming tyrant.  Oh wait, there’s a word for that, toddler.  

He threw a huge tantrum today.  It’s been extremely hot the last few days, especially in my office with no air conditioning and com puters running all day.  So I took the kids down to the beach after dinner.  Well, the tide was so far in, there was about a foot and a half of beach, and you had to duck under trees just to be down on it.  But it was a little hike down there, so I figured what the heck, go nuts.  Both kids waded for a while, and Will found an enormous stick.  When it was time to go, I scooped Will up and he screamed all the way up the hill.  We stopped to look at some deer that had wandered into the park, and I swear, they just stared at Will and me in disbelief that noise like that could come out of a human.  A change out of wet clothes and some juice seemed to help his disposition, but isn’t he too young to be having tantrums about this?  Ian and I say all the time how “Will” sure fits this little guy well, he’s got a lot of it.  

But the more Will becomes independent, I’m reminded of how much I did like this age with Emily.  Despite all the screaming and tantrums, he is really becoming more of a reasonable person.  I can actually envision a year from now, you know, going out in public again.  

Did I mention that?  I think we’re going to go ahead and not go into public with Will for a while.  Especially restaurants.  Last weekend for my birthday we took a wonderful trip with my family to the ocean, luckily we had one of those hotels with a kitchen, but we did eat a few meals out, and each involved Will being carried out of the restaurant screaming, and then taking turns eating, while I at least, felt resentful for missing out on a nice meal.  But that isn’t fair to us or him.  Will’s not the problem, it’s the expectation for young toddlers to be able to sit quietly for extend periods of time.  It just isn’t going to happen.  So if that means Ian and I will be taking advantage of more babysitting, hey, I’m okay with that.  

Emily has been screaming a lot too lately, and it might be compounded by Will’s screaming, but I have even less tolerance for the fits she’s been throwing about teeth brushing of all things.  (we switched her from kid’s toothpaste to adult, because I honestly can’t imagine that blue sparkly crap actually cleans teeth) So, it’s a battle every morning and night.  

Hopefully soon the screaming will cease, and I can go back to the slightly less boring subject of how fast the kids are growing up.  Until then, buy stock in earplugs.  

Screams in the Night

A very, very, long week brought some happy news, the birth of my friend Sara’s second baby, Parker Cameron. Mom and baby are doing great and I actually got to meet Parker today at the hospital, which was wonderful after having to miss her firstborn at the hospital when we lived in Pullman. Sara seemed so relaxed and comfortable, and I was reminded so, so much of our stay with Will at the hospital just over a year ago.

Am I nostalgic? Maybe just a little. It’s not that I want another newborn, just Will as a newborn again. And I’ll admit that this might be selective memory, but weren’t things easier when he was a newborn?

All I can say now is, he’s wonderful most of the time, really, and we still lie awake at night and marvel at how perfect he is and our hearts burst open with love for this little guy. But it’s like there’s this other baby that takes over in the evening. This other baby right now, is nearly intolerable. After working at, what I think, is a fairly stressful job I come home to a tired toddler that wants to do nothing but scream for hours. Not cry, scream. This high-pitched-only-dogs-can-hear-it scream while he arches his back. You can’t rock him, snuggle him, hold him, talk to him, nothing.

I started writing this a few nights ago, after about an hour of the screaming with no end in sight. But that night as I was losing it, Ian was miraculously able to keep it together even after spending the entire day with no adult contact and a screaming Will and we talked about what we can do other than be frustrated about the screaming. We decided that Will needs more of a routine, which I knew on some level, but had let slide over the last few months since we moved, and actually, to be honest, never really had with Will since he’s been so easy-going.

So, we’re going to try to establish a good evening and bedtime routine, which is probably even more important since I’m at work now.

But it’s not really fair what I said before about Will. The last few weeks have been crazy at work, we’ve been organizing our entry in a local parade, and I had to walk in the parade with the candidates from our district. Of course I dragged the whole family along, and Will was such, such a good sport. He was clearly unimpressed with the whole thing, but was okay to sit in his stroller while Ian pushed him amongst the crowd of people yelling and clapping and waving signs. But not a peep out of Will, despite the fact that the parade started right around when his nap should have been.

And then tonight, Will only screamed for about ten minutes before passing out and actually staying asleep through the evening.

But Emily! I should really talk about her because she actually carried the banner out in front of the entire group, with another little boy, and she’s only five. I was so proud of her, she did such an amazing job, and at least one of her classmates was on the sidelines and saw her walking, which is pretty big time in kindergarten, I think.

As a parent, it’s sometimes easy to get dragged down by things like arched backs and ear piercing screams, or five year olds sulking as they brush their teeth. But then, moments like today in the parade remind me that they’re not trying to drive me insane, they’re only small, and acting like normal small people. And they’re actually some pretty great people, small or not.