Light at the End of the Tunnel

I may be coming back into the light. May be. After weeks of screaming, Will seems to have, well not stopped, but slowed down a bit (well, so long as you don't ask Ian, who still claims he screams during the day). Will seems more and more like a little boy, more independent, so maybe the screaming tantrums are part of this transitional phase. Of course this transitional phase might last two or three years.

I think part of my better outlook is that we moved Will into Emily's room. Despite some pretty strong protests from Will, he has settled in there relatively well, and even slept until 6:30 in the morning, snuggled up with Emily. It's very, very werid to not have Will with us at night, but I'm really, really liking the evening time, and the ability to fold clothes without having the piles torn down by Will faster than I can fold them.

This, combined with weaning Will has really made me feel like a regular person again. I mean, I loved Will as an infant, we had such a great time. But there's this other side to life with an infant where you sort of walk this thin line, appearing to resemble a normal person, but on the inside, you're worried about whether the baby will be able to eat where you're going, if the baby needs to nurse, sleep, will break into a crying fit, etc... Life with a toddler, while challenging in it's own way, isn't quite so much like teetering on the edge of a cliff, and you don't feel as much like an old towel, wrung out and damp all the time.

I remember feeling exactly this way with Emily at this age. We had just moved to Pullman, where I started undergraduate school, and I finally had my own life again. Is that selfish? Maybe a little, it's been so great to be out there working, doing somethng I love so much, and working with such great people. That and I do work at a job where I can incorporate the kids into what I'm doing. Last week while Emily was visiting my grandparents, Ian brought Will into my office to help out with mapping out where we were putting up signs, so while Ian and I worked on the maps, Will played with empty boxes, balloons, and wandered in and out of the other offices down the hall.

And that's exactly my point, I guess. Will's turning out to be a pretty fun kid, developing a sense of humor, and even pretends a little. It's much easier to pick up and run to the store, or take a road trip up to Bainbridge Island and play on the beach all day. I mean sure, Will still screams, and he's started to whine about everything, but seeing his developing relationships with his grandparents, Ian, and Emily, and the evolution over the last year of our family of four, makes every day a day I look forward to spending together.