Beautiful

Before tonight I would have written about standing in the backpack aisle of Target for half an hour, or how I had to pull the car over to the side of the road until Emily stopped throwing a fit so we could go to dinner.

I intended to put the kids to bed early and enjoy a quiet evening alone while Ian was out watching a movie. We’d spent all day fighting the crowds at the Mall and Target in search of the perfect backpack for Emily, well perfect in that it had to be exactly the same as the one we saw a few weeks ago but I didn’t have the foresight to buy at the time. Will was a sweaty damp, screaming mess and as I dropped my mom off at her house after dinner, I knew even she couldn’t wait to enjoy some peace and quiet. I mean, it’s not that my kids aren’t wonderful, they’re just exhausting. So, we drove past a sign for the Olalla Bluegrass Festival and I remembered two free tickets I had at home. I mentioned it to Emily and then instantly regretted it, My quiet evening!! Gone! But I thought of the kids, how they probably had a stressful day too, and how nice it would be to get outside, let out some energy, and have some fun. So I drove home, changed into some jeans and a sweatshirt, threw some pajamas on Will, grabbed my camera and the tickets and was back out the door in five minutes.

As we wandered into the festival, my expectations were pretty low, I’m not a fan of country music at all, but I do like festivals. It was just wrapping up, we got there an hour before it was over, people were starting to leave, but the band was playing, people were dancing out on the field. I spread out the blanket, sat down and expected Will to start running off in the opposite direction.

But I was surprised. Emily stood up and started dancing in the middle of the field, in front of all those people! I watched her twirl around, kick up her feet, and then she grabbed Will’s hands, pulled him up and danced with him. Will, of course, loved it. He jiggled up and down holding on to Emily’s hands and grinning from ear to ear. When each song ended they clapped politely with the rest of the crowd. I sat watching them, baffled. Could these be the same screeching children I spent the day with?

The sun began to set and the band kept playing. Emily and Will kept dancing, hugging, and laughing. For me, it didn’t matter what music was playing, though I did enjoy that as well. The kids were so much fun to watch, and Emily even got me to dance a little too.

Will made friends with an elderly woman who was dancing alone, and as the kids hugged each other so tightly they fell over, she said, “they’re so beautiful!”. And I know. I do. Their pure joy in dancing barefoot on a summer evening, it washes away the tears, the tantrums, the fighting. And what’s left? Two kids so bursting with love for life and each other that beauty radiates from their souls.

Time

Today I was catching up with some of the other blogs and online journals I read. So there I was reading along, when it dawned on me, I have a blog too! Wow. I hadn’t realized that this had been so neglected.

Maybe it’s the nature of life with a one year old. It’s not like I can sit quietly at the computer with Will asleep in my arms. Even as we speak he’s crawling all over me, trying desperately to type on the computer too. I don’t know how many times I say “William, NO!” each day… too many. It’s not that he’s into everything constantly, oh wait, it is. If he’s not climbing onto our desks, he’s pulling every pot and pan out of the cabinet, or turning the TV on (and since we actually have no TV, it just creates lovely snow), or hitting Emily, or pulling shoes out of the bench, or unplugging the clock, or, well you get the idea.

But then he’s also really, really sweet. He’s gotten a lot more interested in books, and animals. Tonight he liked reading The Busy Spider and making all the animal sounds in it. Especially “Woof Woof”, “Mau”, and “Bak Bak” (Quack Quack). Maybe in comparison to Emily I feel like he’s constantly on the move. Emily, if it were up to her, would probably read all day. Since it’s summer, we’ve been letting her stay up later than Will and she loves the quite time without him. Well, we all sort of do. But he is sleeping mostly in his own bed now. He still puts up quite a fight for about ten minutes, but then passes out, usually with an assortment of toys, blankets, and books. He’s such a pack rat at bedtime! He has to have his special blanket and Bird-O, at least, and usually also his rabbit, another blanket, his Peekabo Baby book, one of Emily’s babies, and it’s amazing there is any room left for Will in there. He’s sleeping in a toddler bed, so we skipped the crib all together, since at this point he’d probably just climb out of it and hurt himself.

But do I talk about sleeping and Will getting into things too much? Last weekend was Emily’s sixth Birthday, six wow. I still can’t get over how grown up she is, but for some reason, six wasn’t as big of a deal as five was. At five she turned into this huge kid, and now she’s still that huge kid, but she can do a few more things. Especially academically. She’s always investigating and thinking about things. She’s even beginning to think about what she wants to be when she grows up. One day she told me she wanted to be like Pat Lantz (the politician I work for) so she can be in parades. She’s also said she wants to be a teacher.

It’s also really cool that Emily notices all the political signs that are out there now, I mean, not just because everyone I work with has worked really hard to get them up, but also because she’s becoming politically aware, which, in my very biased opinion, is one of the most important things to be aware of. And I like that both the kids see that dads can be the nurturer, and I think it’s reflected in how sweet Will is. He’s always ready with a hug and a kiss. And then on the other hand, it’s a tough trade off when it’s a nice day and there’s no place I’d rather be than at the park with the kids, and instead I’m stuck in an office. Or worse, when I want to be home early to get to see the kids before bedtime and I can’t leave until after 7. I mean, it’s worth it, I’m lucky to get to do what I do, but still… I do realize that Will especially would like me to be home.

Sometimes I feel like I can’t write because I end up writing about the same things over and over, bedtime struggles, not being home enough, it gets boring. But at the end of a long day, it’s difficult to reflect on the little things like I used to. Such is the nature of parenting a toddler and now six-year-old. There just isn’t as much time to marvel at the tiny fingernails and little pursed lips. But at the end of a long week, when Emily says “I’m really glad we get to spend time together, it’s really nice”, it gives me the same feeling exactly.